carnac the magnificent curses
"[7] Songwriter Neal Merritt used the Carnac Saver as his primary inspiration for a song with a similar insult as a title, "May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose," a hit for Little Jimmy Dickens. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. A: The eye of a frog, the wing of a fly and the throat of a The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? The Question: How much did Clarnac lose on his 30 day diet? 4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars (164) $23.99 $ 23. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? . Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What do you hear when you put - RomWell Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . Q: How do you get it? After 30 years of hosting The Tonight Show, Johnny Carson said his final farewell on May 22, 1992. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. Although Bilaams curses were many, all of the other curses - save the one for Houses of Prayer and Study - eventually came to pass. The Question: Describe how marriage is a 3-ring circus? The Question: What did Rodneys doctor tell him when he asked for a second opinion? , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson / Funny - TV Tropes ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". A: Bible belt. 200 views, 3 upvotes. Q: What do you call Hershey's Prune Kisses? The Answer: I didnt think I had enough gas. Hand made. On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. A: Stick 'em up! The answer: "Sis boom bah." Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. A: The Laughing Policeman. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American . us? CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to Q. And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. Johnny Carson: Self - Host, Carnac the Magnificent Q: Name two movies and a suppository. Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." A: Fun with Dick and Jane. Carson . Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? A: De-frost. Related Topics. , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Line: 478 Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Q: Describe Mick Jagger's nose. A: Snap, crackle, pop. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? A: Kaleidoscope. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" "Johnny: "It was so cold, the politicians had their hands in their ownpockets. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? Kentucky: The state that is being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the 20th century. The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. A client of mine was hosting a dinner party, wanted to entertain her guests by re-enacting this skit between Johnny Carson and Ed . It was named in honor of the ancient Hagia Sophia in Constantinople and played a crucial role . work? The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. . Wheres the exit sign? . May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. We are now officially the living who envy the dead! The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. A: Jaques Cousteau. If a joke (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience (such as "May your favorite daughter be featured in NFL Films' Sack of the Week", "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your jacuzzi", "May you walk a mile under a diseased camel", "May a demented deer lock horns with your daughter's Kawasaki", "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person seated next to me, and may his arms be too short to scratch", "May a diseased camel be sick on your prayer rug", or "May your proctologist be a frustrated concert trombonist"). And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. (Wait for it! Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. drip. A: Kumquat. Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce. the audience will cheer. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. , The Question: What is the longest sentence in the world? Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off? Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. 40 Carnac The Magnificent Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty Images Editorial Editorial FILTERS CREATIVE EDITORIAL VIDEO 40 Carnac The Magnificent Premium High Res Photos Browse 40 carnac the magnificent stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. kaleido? A: "Small craft warning!" Audience reaction played a major role in the skit. The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? be sending Georgia soon? Screenkey. Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H? I hold in my hand these The Question: How much is Oprah Winfrey worth? A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? Q: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! Internet Forwards A: Double trouble. Carnac the Magnificent - Everything2.com A: Evon Guligan. The character was introduced in 1964. ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" Modern Day Curses - Monte R Anderson - Author The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. A: Over 15 billion served. Q: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. A: Head and shoulders. A: Kaiser wrap. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. [8], Since the 1980s, Howard Stern has paid tribute to Carnac the Magnificent, with his own skit called Sternac the Improbable. A: Short eyes. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? Johnny Carson Carnak The Magnificent One Liners, Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club, A List of 10 Little Known Facts About David Letterman, ABC Sends "Charlie's Angels" To That Big Cancelled TV Show Studio In The Sky, Joan Rivers on the 'Tonight Show': "I still got a chance! Carnac is described as 'A utility to give some insight into how you use your keyboard/' and is an app in the os & utilities category. The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? Q: What was dat hippie smoking? Q: What will be written on the Happy Hooker's tombstone? May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. Key'n'Stroke. A: The 11th Hour. but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. promises. The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. Carnac the Magnificent - Alchetron, The Free Social Encyclopedia A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? A: Unleash. . Browse more quotes by famous person's name. , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. Carnac: App Reviews, Features, Pricing & Download - AlternativeTo Q: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas A: The Newlywed Game. proctologist. [Ed Ames has thrown a tomahawk across the stage, hitting a painting of a cowboy straight in the "crotch". Our Story; Our Chefs "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). Q: How does Howard Cosell call his toupee? How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? share. Function: _error_handler, Message: Invalid argument supplied for foreach(), File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php Carnac the Magnificent : [opens envelope and reads] "Name two movies and the Los Angeles Rams fight song." Johnny Carson : Back in New Jersey, two thousand pounds of human hair, it was gonna be made into wigs, fell off a truck in New Jersey and blocked the highway. Q: What's the major cause of divorce? Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. A: Los Angeles Dodgers. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on - YouTube A: 2001. KeyCastr. I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. A: The diamond lane. Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. A: Earth, Wind and Fire. "Opens envelope for question: "Name two hockey players and a hockeypuck. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Line: 479 , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? A: Timbuktoo. stops. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. A: Pussy Willow. [1] The longest laugh ever recorded was given to "Sis Boom Bah," which was the answer to "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes" and resulted in both Carson and McMahon breaking character to laugh as well. May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? Oh, I forgot! NO ONE! The Best of Carnac the Magnificent | The Joke Archives . Johnny would don an . Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. A: Cyclone. The character was introduced in 1964. CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. Show"? Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. CARNAC: May a crazed sultan force you into mouth-to-mouth carnac the magnificent curses One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . Q: Name a Fudd, a Mudd and a dud. A: Cheetah, Leon Spinks and the American taxpayer. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Towering Inferno. ", Conan O'Brien's Forehead Takes Over for Jay Leno's Chin.